|
|
|
February 18th, 2005
09:01 pm
Wow, it's been absolute yonks since I updated last, so that must say that I'm either a)boring or b)lazy, and quite possibly both. Just a thought; I'm so glad that when typing an entry, the delete button isn't like on my phone (nokia 3315) where if you hold 'delete' for too long, it erases your entire entry. That would seriously suck.
Alrighty, so what's been happening? Well, Joe and I broke up after 10 months, and to be quite frank, I didn't really care (sad but true). I think the reason was that it took 10 months for both he and I to realise that we are entirely uncompatible, and i'm not entirely sure why. Anyway, I'm rather happy to be boyfriend-free, as this means i have a whole lot more time for me. But funnily enough, I had a really good laugh at work the other day when Carly told me that some random bloke from the pub was yabbering on about "some really hot chick from Shoprite" who turned out to be me. A completely new experiance for me. It took Carly about 10 minutes to convince me that she was being serious.
School's been pretty good, although I feel a bit uneasy about the rest of my group. I honestly feel that we're only together because of convenience, rather than friendship. For example, **** and ******* spend most of their time talking about boys and cars, and how many big muscly boys are after them. It's really sad for me because I genuinely like both of the girls, and I'd much rather talk about something more interesting than boys and hot cars. But I have noticed with the entire year group that we've tended to spend a lot of time with one other person, and still being friends with a lot of other people. It's not exclusion like it used to be. Just an observation. It'll be sad leaving school because I have a feeling that I'll end up loosing contact with a lot of people, remaining friends with only about 6 or 7. Perhaps it's not such a bad thing though.
Damn msn!!!! It's making me download the exciting new version, which because my computer is SPAWN OF SATAN, takes bloody forever.
And to end my superdooperexcitingepisodeofmylife I will leave you with the Census Song off the mouse pad.
We're counting Australia
We're counting Australia
To plan for the future
We're counting on you
To fill out your census form
On August the seventh
Come on Australia
We're counting on you
(great pun, heh :|)
Current Music: "Like a virgin" by ? (off the radio)
|
November 19th, 2004
03:06 pm - guess whoo!
Today was really frustrating
I got out of bed by rolling myself along the floor and out the door
I feel a bit strange because we've just moved to Idaho and there's a weird smell in the house.
I'm so happy. I just found out that I have been accepted into Harvard. And Yale. I don't know which to choose... oh, why is life so hard sometimes?
Last night I had to finish my term paper on the history of pre-communist Russian society. I focussed on the needs of women. I think it's ok, but if I don't pass this I'll lose my scholarship.
I want to tell the world not to eat too many golf balls - it screws with the digestion
I am making this journal Friends Only because of the perverts and stalkers who only want to see my photos.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's ten thousand photographs of my cat.
I want to say thanks to Babybob556 for making the background and icons for my journal. Thanks hon, ur super special!
I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said that I look strangely like a gorilla And bipolar disorder.
You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.
My computer is my best friend.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.
Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!
Powered by Rum and Monkey
|
October 16th, 2004
05:47 pm
Ahh... i love the simpsons, pure pure bliss *grin*
It's my birthday on the 25th, and i've GOT to get around to organising some sort of party/get together with my friends. Oh and i've gotta get a b'day pressie for Jess, whose birthday is on Monday and i have no idea what to get her. Maybe a bath bomb...everyone loves bath bombs :|. See, no inspiration. So don't blame me if i end up getting her a potato with a smiley face. I'm just so original.
|
August 16th, 2004
09:41 pm
Well, i went to visit Hannah on Saturday, which was grand, i wheeled her downstairs (crashing into half the population at the same time, as well as a multitude of pot plants), and got her a awesome bright yellow smiley face balloon, which is currently floating in a cheerful way above her bed. I hope i cheered her up fractionally and enjoyed finding the monkey or whatever it was i was supposed to be finding in the picture book that she borrowed from her bed-neighbour.
Friday and Saturday I competed in the Choral eistedfodd with my two choirs. Camarata (my chamber choir) came 3rd out of 8 choirs which was awesome. There were two choirs from interstate (kinda), one from Mittagong or something called Frencham whsoe uniform was 29 shades of brown. Apparently they've had the same uniform since 1929 and are appropriately proud of that fact. The other school was Pembroak (sp?) college from SA, and they looked like a cross between nuns and god-knows-what. Its was royal blue and white, with a white flappy thing on the back and gold buttons. Anyway, both choirs were fabulous especially Pembroak who had this pocket rocket of a bloke in the front row dancing away like a nut. Talk about value for money.
Newho, getting kicked of the net so betta go,
|
July 24th, 2004
09:37 pm - It's an update!
Hmm,it's funny how when you sit down with a pad of paper and a pen you can think of a million things to write, but when you sit down in front of the computer, theres just a blank, humming noise inside your head. Either that or i'm just mad. That would be no surprise. I've decided that i love 106.3's Saturday party mix, yes I know it's sad, but i just love it. I should have been a teenager in the 80's. Big hair and shoulder pads all the way.
I'm babysitting Nick (who is 13 and so doesn't need a babysitter) for mum and dad who've gone out to Gundaroo or something til late. Poor old dad is so hard on himself, I think he's harder on himself than I am on myself, and i'm supposed to be the insecure, self-hating teenager here. He just needs a hug.
So, whats been happening for the last few weeks? Well, the holidays were Great, spent a lot of time with Joe, and the days that weren't with him were with Mav, Jess and the other girls. I worked a fair bit, but all my money seems to have seeped through my hands into some unknown place that eats up money. Quite frustrating really. Joe, Michaela and I completed the CSIRO student research projects in the last week, in which we had to peer through microscopes at plants (correction, barley and wheat plants.) It was surprisingly fun, and I've decided that Michaela doesn't have a monobrow (gee i'm superficial). I've still got to do the presentation, and finish writing up the report. At the moment i'm trying to ignore it.
Feeling lonely on msn, everyone seems to have a life other than me, (which isn't surprising when you have to babysit a kid who is starting to go through puberty...hehe breaking voices) If Joe doesn't come on soon, then i'm just gonna have to go and watch more TV, because i don't think i can really call his home at 10pm. *sigh*
In other news, the heating is back on!!!! This is fabulous because previously our heating blew up, which made our house the equivalant of an iceburg. Calling it freezing was an understatement. But now (after retreving the heater filter that the "repair-people" "borrowed") I've put the heating on 20 degrees, which is very indulgent and causing green house gases etc, but at the moment i'm just revelling in it.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/nolegs/bored.gif) bored
Current Music: House of Fun by Madness
|
June 22nd, 2004
09:21 pm
You're My Little Pony!! Sweet and innocent and
happy, you make people want to spew burrito
chunks. Even a Care Bear could kick your ass.
What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
...absolutely fabulous...
You are Xuan Wu!
Mythological background: Because the turtle has a
thick, solid shell that serves as protection -
this animal is associated with stability. You
enjoy intellectual pursuits.
Also, in Feng Shui (the Chinese myths behind
choosing a house), the black turtle's solidity
is used to protect from cold northern winds.
Which Chinese Mythological Being Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
*raised eyebrow*
|
08:33 pm
Woot! Exams all done!! Pure happiness. *gloats* Had a grand laugh at Craig the other night cuz he only finishes on Friday, Hah. Math exam was *ahem* interesting. Those logs are evilstupidbastards. Slept into 9.30, after getting cranky at dad for trying to wake me up by opening the curtains at 7.00. Decided that i need some sort of port from school to home in order to protect me from the freezing wind and sleet and rain and various implements that almost always decide to throw themselves upon me as soon as i leave the house. Did my photography presentation, which consisted of getting up there, poking at my photos and telling the class what they were (in case they couldn't see for themselves). Worked- boring as usual, very quiet which meant i had to entertain Irene for the last hour. Not sure that i succeeded. My brothers and dad are watching the 1989 Grand Final, i think they're getting really depressed at the fact that the Hawks are no longer great (i.e suck). Shame it was almost 20 years ago. Can't believe dad still has the tape. Wonders will never cease.
Quote for today (thanks to George W. Bush): "I believe that human beings and the fish can co-exist peacefully."
...Well done mate.
|
June 21st, 2004
08:57 pm
Name Four Bad Habits You Have :
1. Insulting people by accident and not realising it for about 2 days, when i'm like DOh!
2. Interrupting people mid-sentance
3. My brain going off on a tangent and saying completely bizzare things to people
4. I'm sure there are many more, but unfortunatly i'm not aware of them.
Name Four Things That You Wish You Had :
1. Smaller thighs
2. That unspellable thing called etiquette
3. Logic
4. A parrot
Name Four Scents You Love :
1. Flower by Kenzo
2. Fresh bread (yea oh-so corney)
3. Lavender hand cream
4. The smell of any perfume shop
Name Four People That Know You the Best :
1. Mum
2. Craig
3. Jess
4. Mav
Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
1. The hot pink/yellow/green tracksuit on display in some Vinnies shop which is all in one and has elasticised arms and ankles
2. An uber mini - i have accepted my thighs just don't like exposure
3. A giant potato suit (y'know, could happen)
4. A tattoo
Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now :
1. How my dad might come and steal the internet off me any minute
2. Joe
3. Ignoring anything to do with math that pops into my head
4. Nothing (that's a worry)
Name Four Things That You Have Done Today :
1. Fed the cat
2. Gave Jimmy (the budgie) a bath
3. Wandered continually in and out of the pantry and fridge
4. Poked my brother
Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought :
1. Shrek 2 ticket
2. Dinner at Cafe Essen
3. Mentos
4. i think it was something out of a vending machine
Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink :
1. Cordial
2. Milo
3. Water
4. Milk
Kindergarden Teacher's Name ?
Can't remember the one in England, but my year 1 teacher here was Miss Matthews
Last Words You Said :
"Nah the internet download protection thingy hasn't finished dad"
Last Song You Sang ?
"Now is the month of maying" - song from choir in the shower this morning
Last 4 People You Hugged ?
1. Mum
2. Dad
3. Shorty
4. Joe
Last Thing You Laughed At ?
Nick's serial problem with butt-clevage
Last Time You Cried ?
Ages ago, probably 2 months
What's In Your CD Player ?
A compilation with random JJJ songs on it
What Color Socks Are You Wearing ?
Bright yellow, approx 20 years old
What's Under Your Bed ?
Another bed
What Time Did You Wake Up Today ?
8:30
Current Taste ?
...saliva?
Current Hair ?
Oily
Current Clothes ?
Blue jumper and jeans
Current Annoyance ?
Nick's waaay too short pajama pants resulting in the aforementioned butt-clevage
Current Longing ?
Warm socks and fingers
Current Desktop Picture ?
Blank- computer recently wiped of everything (bloody virus)
Current Worry ?
Nothing
Current Hate ?
Nothing
Favorite Physical Feature Of The Opposite Sex ?
Smile
Favorite Place To Be ?
Meringo- south coast
Least Favorite Place ?
The changerooms at the OYC
If You Could Play An Instrument ?
Bass guitar
Favorite Color ?
Pink or yellow
Do You Believe In An Afterlife ?
No idea, don't really care
How Tall Are You ?
168ishcm
Current Favorite Word/Saying ?
Uber
Favorite Season ?
Spring
One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To :
Sophie
Favorite Day ?
Sunday
Where Would You Like To Go ?
England
What Is Your Career Going To Be Like ?
Varied
How Many Kids Do You Want ?
3 or 4
Favorite Car ?
Something with wheels?
A Random Lyric : All my life i've been waaaaiiting for a fairytale ...or something along those lines
Identify Some Of The Things Surrounding Your Computer :
1. "Australian soccer 2004" disc
2. Sorbolene cream
3. Printer
4. Scanner
5. Radio circa 1975
6. Joystick (Dexxa)
7. Mum's pile of sorted clothes
8. And australian Bureau of statistics mouse mat
|
May 26th, 2004
08:12 pm
LOOK OUT!
ïòð | | asmileforall is a radioactive squirrel!! |
From Go-Quiz.com
heh heh heh
radioactive squirrel
|
April 9th, 2004
05:16 pm
If i had words to make a day for you,
I'd sing it golden and true
And i'd make this day last for all times,
and make your nights filled with moonshine
I LOVE THAT SONG
*grins manically*
|
February 11th, 2004
01:20 pm
Well, i'm at school, and it is so excruciatingly boring. I was all looking forward to frees and that, but really, there isn't much work or anything to do so it's a waste of time. Annnnnd i'm all by myself which is qutie lonely. I"m also fairly certain that the girls nextdoor are looking over my shoulder. Hrm. I think i have lost my head, it's there, i can feel it, but unfortuantly can't use it, which is a bummer. it's really hot, and i'd better go and do my Chem work before i get behind.
Anna
|
January 20th, 2004
09:02 pm
Oooh i'm feeling so joyful now. I went to work this arvo, and this lady who i've served a few times came along, and we had a grand chat about Kath and Kim and she had bought a few packets of Tiny Teddy's dippers so we talked about that. Anyway she was a lovely lady, and a few minutes after they'd gone her daughter came back into the shop with a box of tiny teddies and said they were from her mum "from one kath and kim fan to another." It was sooooooo gorgeous. That really made my day. It's so nice when someone does something like that. I think her name is Maureen, cuz thats what she signed on her credit. Well it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I'm going down the coast for the last week of hols, and i can't wait, i just love the coast, i want to live down there, and have that laid back living atmosphere.
Took the fam bike riding round the lake today, it's so not happening again unless they can all speed up considerably. I love them but they are such SNAILS! It's quite impressive how slowly they can go. dad on the other hand is good to go riding with cuz he's fast too, and like a long ride. But mum, nick and alex just need practise and a bit more fitness.
Dad and Alex had a great birthday, lots of chocolate involved, dad loved his AFl live, and Alex *loved* his Dragon soft toy.
I've decided that i'm going to delete MSN of the system for this year, until the next hols. It just distracts me too much, and i really need to concentrate properly this year.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/nolegs/happy.gif) loved
|
January 17th, 2004
06:45 pm
YES! YES YES YES! If only it wasn't just a quiz :(
You are going to marry Orlando Bloom. He will
always treat you right and is very romantic. He
will do anything for you. He is very polite and
has deep brown eyes and is very good looking
(which is another plus!). He can make anythind
cheesy look really good (like sliding down
stairs on a shield shooting arrows or wearing
pointy ears for example). Congrats!!
Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (10 results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
You represent... happiness.
Boy, are you full of cheer or what...? You have a
sunny disposition and enjoy trying to spread
your happiness. You have a tendency to be a
little hyper, but you have the ability to make
your own fun no matter what.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
What Snack Food are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
January 15th, 2004
05:39 pm
I'm getting fit! Oh yes i am! I rode 20km yesterday, and swam 40 laps today! Quite unbelievable. But i'm also proud of myself, the muscles are kinda showing through :P. I also got burnt where my fingers missed the suncreen. So now i've got finger prints in the burnt bit. It's dads and Alex's birthdays today, and the neighbours are coming around for dinner (seafood) and cake, well pavlova, which is sooo much better than cake. Went for my first drive the other day. It was soooo much fun! I couldn't understand the accelerator and brake at first, and kept almost sending me and mum through the window screen. Then i got the hang of it and was reversing and going around, (this was in a car park mind you, so i wasn't reversing in the middle of the road,lol, "DON'T MIND ME!OH SORRY ABOUT THAT MATE!No hard feelings huh?")Then we went again yesterday evening and i learnt how to use the indicators. I love it! I like my new hairstyle, its all off my neck and lighter. The weather has been beautiful, all sun and blue skies. It makes you want to get out there and be enthusiastic too. Only 2 weeks left of the hols. But i reassuring myself with the fact that a wonderful whole week at moruya is between me and school. I love the beach. It's so gorgeous and vibrant. I love the feeling of having sand between your toes, and running into the white crested waves. *grins* I can't wait.
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: "Hey St Peter", not sure who it's by.
|
January 9th, 2004
08:04 pm
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
|
07:19 pm
Owwwwwww *whinges* My knees are two giant ballons at the moment. They look like someone has inflated them with a bike pump. I went iceskaign on wednesday with some guy friends, and we were playing a lovely :| game of push and shove, and Dat pushed me waay to hard and i slammed into the ice and killed my knees. Lol he was grovelling after that. What have I been doing for the last week? Urmmm, reading a lot. Read two books in 1 day. The Keys to the Kingdom series by Garth Nix, only two books are out atm; Mister Monday and Grim Tuesday. Both are excellent. Couldn't pull my nose out of them. Havn't heard from Cam in a week so thats a good sign. He must have gotten the "back off message" (about bloody time too.) Been working a fair bit. OOOOhhh! and i got my hair cut today! got about 4 inches off! Its so nice to have it off my neck. My BBQ is tomorrow and i think about 25 people are coming, hopefully more. About 10 people were unsure. But its so nice. I've already collected $15 from people at work and others who can't come but want to donate. It makes me feel so happy and worthwhile.
Current Mood: ecstatic
|
January 6th, 2004
08:36 pm
IT'S RAINING!!! YAYYYYYYYY! about bloody time. It's been stinking hot for the last week. Nothing under 33 degrees. Gah. Why do i live in Canberra?! I've been doing hardly anything recently, other than working and dying of heat. My poor cat Eboney has been relaly badly off and has hardly eaten any food (other than chicken) my bbq chicken no less. Now shes just lying on the bed looking so incredibly gorgeous. I"m having my bbq on saturday!!! YAy and lotsa people are coming! Hopefully i can make $50, but if not i'll be happy with whatever i can get. Good karma :). Couldn't really be bothered recounting my days.
|
January 1st, 2004
06:21 pm
Had a very hot hot yukky day today. Worked again, and it was stinky. New years was fine, played badminton with my family and looked at Saturn through a telescope. Worried a lot. Worried about Hannah, and all the other depressed people out there who need help. Felt insufficient. Wanted to hug everyone so much and so hard that their eyeballs pop out. (well perhaps not that enthusiastically) Want to make everyone realise how special they are. Every individual person. Want everyone to realise their potential, not be cut short. I realised that there is so much unfairness in the world. Hated bush a lot. Hated the lack of media attention on the 40,000 (YES 40,000!!) people who died in Iran this week. Hated the measly 2million dollars our government put towards their aid. Wanted to be in possesion of a giant mallet to hit everyone on the head with so they can all come to their senses. Wanted to be able to use my brain properly and form whole sentances in the right grammer. Wished it wasn't so hot. Ate a lot of icy poles. Wanted to be able to do SOMETHING about everything.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/nolegs/thoughtful.gif) contemplative
|
05:45 pm
If you have been thinking about suicide, get help right away, rather than simply hoping your mood might improve. When a person has been feeling down for so long, it's hard for him to understand that suicide isn't the answer - it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Talk to anyone you know as soon as you can - a friend, a coach, a relative, a school counselor, a religious leader, a teacher, or any trusted adult. Call your local emergency number or check in the front pages of your phone book for the number of a local suicide crisis line. These toll-free lines are staffed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by trained professionals who can help you without ever knowing your name or seeing your face. All calls are confidential - nothing is written down and no one you know will ever find out that you've called.
Let's suppose that you are the person planning your own death. Ok, you know how, when, where, and have the means to kill yourself. All that was easy. You may have persuaded yourself that death is the only answer for you. The truth is that there are always other choices. Do you feel that no one cares about you and what you are going through? You are wrong. Many people care, many more people than you know.
Here are things that took me years
to understand:
1. You and I must not interpret the present based on things of the past. Let each thing that is said or done be on it's own. Live in the "now" only. Put the past behind you and keep it there. Dreaming of what might have been will keep you from living the in the "now", and it incorrectly colors the present. If someone says something, accept the meaning without allowing the past to change it in your mind.
2. Stand up for yourself. Don't let others get away with trying to make you a victim. This is not a "get even" thought, it is a "stand up for yourself at all costs and all of the time" thought. Some people will walk on you if they can - don't let them. If they get away with it they will do it again and again, and you will despise yourself for letting them do that to you. You deserve better. (See the "Our Rights and Asserting Ourselves")
3. Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes and almost all mistakes are fixable. Learn from the mistake, forgive yourself and get on with living.
4. Learn to choose and to make your own decisions. By not choosing or deciding, we feel much less "in control" and we are that much more the victim. Get rid of "anything, doesn't matter, and whatever" those are not constructive choices. Many times, the lack of making decisions cause us to lose control of our lives, and that can lead to self hate.
(See link "About Making Decisions").
5. Watch out for idealistic thinking, try to stay real, we are not in a perfect world and you and I must not try to be martyrs. We can't show others by our willingness to suffer or die for our ideals. Other people probably won't understand the reason for our pain anyway, and our subtlety will be wasted.
6. Much of the hostility and/or hate you are directing inward to yourself should have been and should be directed away from yourself and toward those who deserve it - but, don't direct it toward people who don't deserve it.
These are things that you can do to
help yourself:
A- Know your enemy. Learn to recognize the symptoms of depression.
B- Take responsibility for your illness and be active in the treatment of it. If you know you're depressed, get help and do not wait. If your doctor or therapist isn't helping you, change to a different one (they work for you).
C- Get guilt out of your life. Guilt is what parents used to control you as a child. You are not a child anymore, so don't carry guilt around. (Also if you are doing things that make you feel bad about yourself, stop doing them).
D- If your depression is "out of control," talk to at least five people about it or until someone sees your desperation. Most people are not able to understand if they aren't trained professionals, but most anyone would help you if they knew how.
E- If you use alcohol or drugs stop. When they say "alcohol is a depressant" they aren't kidding. I can't stress this enough! I couldn't get my depression and my life under control until after I stopped drinking - totally. This fact took me years to finally understand. You also don't need the turmoil that comes with drinkers. (See "Where do we go from here?" link).
F- When you most feel like hibernating and avoiding people, force yourself to get dressed and be with others. There are also links here on listening, on conversation, and on assertiveness that can help you be more comfortable and effective when communicating with others.
G- Start an exercise program. Exercise combats depression. Exercise twice a day - it really helps. To make it easier do it every day. Make it a routine, and don't stop if you have a few bad days. If you are having a bad time, tell your therapist.
H- Put a card on your bathroom mirror and read it aloud five times in the morning and same at night. The card says: "I am a very worthwhile person". You are. We always remember more of the bad things in life than the good, and this reinforces our sense of worth. If you are feeling worthless do it now.
I- Most importantly get help from professionals. See your doctor (Md.), call a hotline, call 911, You can also check into any emergency room anywhere - It's sure better than trying suicide, and people there are trained to get you help. They will understand, but act. "Just do it."
http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Depression/suicide/index.asp
Don't ever lose hope. Don't you dare.
|
December 29th, 2003
07:38 pm
I"m soooo sleepy I could fall asleep right now. In fact I think i'll go to bed very soon. Damn daylight savings messing with my brain. Today I saw LotR which is sooooo awesome. I thought the battle in Minas Tirith wasn't quite as good as the Helms Deep scene though. Dont' know why. Spose its all fine for us to pick the film to parts after the event, hell we didn't make it :P. I loved the ghosts scene, twas sooo cool and i wish they had elaborated on it. Then I went into Woden to see Master and Commander with Cam. It was ok, movie was really good, but Cam kept putting his hand on my leg and arm around me so i spent much of the time moving around and trying to give him the hint to move off. THe worst part about it? The fact that against my better judgement I liked the attention. It made me feel really guilty that I don't care about him like that, and still let him do that which gets his hopes up. I'm just so stupid. I went in there saying to myself "ok he makes anymove and i'll move away." I still didn't let him kiss me on the forehead which he tried to do, and moved his hand off my leg several times. But he still doesn't understand even though I have told him on multiple occasions that i don't want to go out with him. I know my problem. I'm sending him two different signals. The one where I tell him i don't want to date him, and the second, where i let him keep his hand on my leg or arm for longer than I should let him. He's a guy, they get confused easily. I know that i don't have a crush or anything like that on him, so why do i keep him hanging on. Its so fucking mean and cruel so why do i do it? I hate myself for doing it, and yet i continue to. I'm a fool. I can't let go i suppose.
Oh well, and aside from that I had a really good Christmas, got a heap of things and ate huge amounts of food and felt like a giant blimp floating, no blobbing, around the room. nan and pop left yesterday for Adelaide, and it was really sad saying goodbye to them. I'd forgotten how nice it was to see them. I just wish that Granny and Gramps would come down to canberra sometime. Grans got a heart condition (luckily reversable) and shes rather fragile at the moment. Oh well. Having my bbq on the 10th, hope it turns out ok.
Not much else happening that I can think of. Oh Yea, Dat called the other day. Haven't spoken to him in about 5 months. He's up in Brizzie atm and is comming back on the 2nd. It's nice to talk to a guy *friend* for once. No one with ulterior motives =P.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/nolegs/sleepy.gif) sleepy
|
|
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
asmileforall's journal